In order to write a good session, you first need to write a bad one.
This update is a collection of thoughts on creating a thoroughly unsatisfying narrative for a ttrpg session.
Tags: Absurdism, Boss Fight, Dungeons & Dragons, Fantasy
Setting:
This session could occur anywhere, the more mundane the better. Some suggestions could be:
Your primary school
Down the shops
A bus stop
Or even a field in the middle of nowhere with no significance.
A dragon!:
We begin with the narrative climax: The adventurers are bound in chains in the back of a wagon1 and the Evil Dragon running rampant across the city. The adventurers are powerless to break out of their chains until the wagon hits a pothole in the road, causing the wheel to break off which somehow undoes their chains.
Beginning with the climax removes the narrative tension from a traditional 3 act story structure. Starting off in chains removes player agency, and having the chains break from a pot hole keeps the agency out of player hands.
In order to pursue the Evil Dragon, the adventurers will need to complete a series of tasks:
Standing next to a locked gate is an ordinary farmer the adventurers need to get past. Seemingly unconcerned with the destruction going on around them, they request the adventurers find them 6 blueberries that they need to make a pie for their wife’s birthday.
A troll refuses to let the adventurers cross a bridge unless they beat him in a game of Noughts & Crosses
Two guards who inform the adventurers that one of them always lies, while the other always tells the truth. Both are lying, and they’re just here to waste the adventurers’ time.
A series of simplistic arbitrary puzzle encounters to engage but not really challenge the players.
Then as the adventurers finally approach the Evil Dragon, we flash forward 12 years and 3 months.
Farm life!:
Everything’s going fine! After their adventure with the Evil Dragon, everyone settled down in a nice farming community to spend their days tilling the land. No, no one died, nor did they choose any other lifestyle aside from this. It’s been this way for many years now.
Flashing forward to farm life removes any tension built up in the previous section by both discarding that storyline, and letting everyone know that it’s all going to be ok no matter what they do. They’ll also go on to lead boring domestic lives2.
Domestic life suits the former adventurers well, as they tend to various household chores and engage with the safe predictable lifestyle free from unforeseen danger. The most dangerous they have to contend with now is chickens that have escaped from their coop.
All is going well until one day the former adventurers all gather their wagons at someone’s homestead, preparing to all take their wares into town to sell at the farmer’s market. Everyone is standing around making small talk, then one of the wagon’s groans under the weight of the crops and breaks an axle. If they’re going to make it in time, they’ll need to scramble and make repairs before it gets dark!
Simple mundane obstacle to overcome. Very low stakes compared to opening.
Repairing the cart and setting off down the road alongside the fields to town. Everyone’s in good spirits with the warm sun still high in the air among a few clouds. Soon the former adventurers come to the edge of The Forest, which they must travel through to get to town. Many townsfolk tell tales of goblins and fae that steal small children who wander too far from the path, although the former adventurers have never seen any and it’s understood to just be stories designed to entertain curious kids.
Soon, despite the warm sun previously overhead, the forest dims and a cool mist appears between the trees. Around a corner, the former adventurers find a broken cart strewn across the road. Approaching it to investigate and clear, a perceptive individual would be able to hear small chittering noises from the trees. Taking another step forwards, an arrow flies from the trees, immediately remind them of…
Standard ttrpg plot hook style encounter. Designed to be reminiscent of The Lost Mines of Phandelver D&D 5E adventure.
Game Over!:
…just under 12 years and 3 months prior, when they failed to stop the Evil Dragon from completing the Dark Ritual. The castle walls3 are crumbling around them, and through the portal countless legions of feral guinea pigs pour forth to wreak havoc on the land. The only chance the adventurers have now is escaping the tide of small furry creatures
The guinea pigs pose little threat to the adventurers directly (They’ll simply ravage the local ecosystem by eating all the plants), however every step forward taken is difficult as they blanket the floor. Either the adventurers need to step into a rare clear space in the horde, or step straight down on them (It’s ok, they’re Evil Guinea Pigs)
The castle wall collapsing provide ample opportunity for the adventurers to escape, and miraculously do not come down on any of them even if they don’t make any saving throws. Although if they turn to try and fight the Evil Dragon, then it seems like every stone hits them with pinpoint accuracy; again on saving throws required.
This encounter deprives the adventurers of any opportunity to have a climactic boss fight. In addition the removal of saving throws to avoid damage removes any tension/player agency in escaping.
Making it out and into the surrounding lands, the adventurers look back on the castle knowing they’ve utterly failed in their own journey to stop the Evil Dragon. They see it in the distance fighting an angelic figure on flying horseback. Witnessing this epic battle, the heroic figure leaps through the air onto the Evil Dragon’s back, incredibly slaying it and sealing the portal of hamsters for all eternity.
And suddenly ending right there leaves no narrative threads resolved for the players. A DMPC saving the day also just rubs it in the players faces that absolutely nothing they did here today actually mattered.
What did you think? Any ideas, feedback, want anything expanded on, or do you intend to use this in a session? Let me know!
This session was originally written with Dungeons & Dragons in mind (However running it in Cyberpunk would be funnier), and the original prompt was how to write a bad session.
Cowritten/Edited with the assistance of Alsanna.
Skyrim intro, “Hey you, finally awake?”
This isn’t a metaphor for real life I swear.
Noting that it’s now a castle and not a city. Inconsistent setting details can also frustrate observant players.