[#7] The Warlock Convention
"Paralyse, patronise, patron" Discover what it truly means to be your own patron
Come along one and all for the deal of a lifetime down at the Warlock Convention where you can find the latest in spellcasting innovation and witness the wonders of patrons never before seen with the naked eye. Although beware, because sometimes it’s not just your gold you’re bargaining with.
In this session the adventurers have the opportunity to explore the business side of being a warlock, and all of the deals that can be made. They will wander the stalls, survive a “demonstration malfunction”, investigate the cause, and either help or hinder the Ticketmaster (patron of the convention) with expelling a rogue patron attempting a coup.
Market Scene, Pieter Aertsen, 1550, Wikiart
Setting:
Set in the Borgenen Convention Centre, this session takes place in a classic convention setup with grey carpet, 2x3m stalls filled by businesses you’ve never heard of, and plenty of free samples of mostly safe items. The convention is overseen by an patron known as the Ticketmaster, who commands final say on all matters related to the running of the business.
Story Beats:
See the sights
Investigate the mishaps
Eject the interloper
See the sights:
We start right as the adventurers walk through the convention doors. All around are people excitedly discussing the latest in patron offerings, who to get the best deal from, and any scandals that may or may not have occurred. You don’t have to be a warlock to participate in this session, and anyone of another class is more than welcome to come along. Although be warned plenty of people will try and sell you their patron along the way.
If the characters don’t already know each other, then a suggested opening is everyone responding to the same message board notice promising more skills, gold, and power. With enough guile, the adventurers should be able to get away with all of these without having to sign up to a pact.
Within the convention, the adventurers can find stalls such as:
“Be your own patron!” - A multi tiered system where everyone supports each other to attain greater power! If each warlock signs up two new warlocks, and then they each sign up two new warlocks then everyone’s power grows exponentially together! Everyone participating gets a free small talisman to demonstrate their new power
“Familiar weapons!” - Where you can find weapons imbued with weird and wonderful creatures from the circles of Heck. A very enthusiastic salesman is practically giving these dearies away1. In fact the adventurers may notice that they’re not even attempting to extol the benefits of a pact or patron. Are they just trying to offload all these weapons that keep coming back, even after sold?
“Spells of the future” - Have you ever been upset that once your spell’s been created you don’t receive royalties and someone else always ends up taking the credit? Fret no more! With the creation of Non-Fungible Tomes (NFTs), you can always get the credit for the spells you create even if someone copies you*
*So long as you’re the first person to create the NFT
“Genuine replica blades!” - Want a real fake blade modelled after your favourite hero or villain? Well step right up! For a nominal cost you too can own a genuine replica.
Please note for insurance reasons our staff are not actually able to handle the blades on display. Customers will therefore only be able to handle said blades following purchase.
No refunds allowed.
In addition, there are a number of minor patrons each attempting to recruit new warlocks to their cause. To name a few:
An old sea captain, looking to recruit new members to their fleet.
A gardener, working to expand their plants influence across the plane.
An undead individual attempting to form a union to represent undead rights in the major cities
A dwarf so old they’re practically made of stone fumbling with technology. The adventurers witness them plug a power board into itself instead of an outlet, yet somehow this works.
A representative from an outdoor education organisation aimed at youth attempting to convince people that it’s. Not. A. Cult.
Investigate the mishaps:
As the adventurers wander too and fro through the aisles they first hear, then see, and finally are hit in the face by a fleeing Familiar Weapon. In spite of (or perhaps because of) the salesman’s continued efforts, the weapons have finally decided they’ve had enough and are fleeing the stall in droves.
In an annoyed flurry of loose paper the Ticketmaster appears and offers a tax free reward to those who can first capture the weapons running amok, and then another reward to those who can figure out the cause; as they’re reasonably sure it wasn’t the cowering but quietly relieved mortal salesman in the corner.
The adventurers should have a relatively simple time gathering the Familiar Weapons that have now run rampant throughout the convention. They are attempting to seek out weak willed persons to take over close to the “Genuine replica blades!” stall, and can either be fought or lured back with bait toward the salesman. Although note that some blades may attempt to blend in with the stock on display.
The second puzzle is in figuring out what caused the initial rampancy. Querying the salesman the adventurers can figure out that this occurred between demonstrations, and therefore was unlikely to be a regular member of the crowd and might be someone else in the vicinity.
As they talk, they hear of other issues occurring in the surrounding area:
In the “Be your own patron!” stall somehow one of the higher level warlocks has been signed up by one of the lower tiers, causing a feedback loop threatening to involuntarily draw others in, figuratively and literally. This occurred just as there was another large draw on the conventions power supply.
The “Spells of the future” stall is raging as their tomes are currently being overwritten with inane questions like “Where to find butter?” and “How make rock cake please?”. While not much can be done about this, it indicates an older person who doesn’t fully understand technology
These clues should point toward the dwarf so old they’re practically made of stone, a Great Old One (GOO).
Eject the interloper:
With the revelation of the higher power GOO patron in their midst, the adventurers are now tasked with (hopefully) defeating and ejecting this interloper, as the convention is supposed to be closed to other higher power entities since the Ticketmaster doesn’t want competition.
To assist them with this, each of the adventurers is granted a boon by the Ticketmaster, which grants each of the party Eldritch Blast and a Necklace of Prayer Beads.
The GOO now has a shrewd naivety about them as they don’t fully understand what’s going on, and demand the party remove themselves from their lawn. As they speak this last part, green grass springs up around the adventurer’s feet as reality lightly warps around them .
The party can of course fight them, although being a Being from Beyond Time it’s unlikely they can permanently kill it. The best outcome of this fight would be destroying this temporary puppet vessel it inhabits. Over the course of this fight the GOO will recruit others via the “Be your own patron!” stall who have unwittingly signed up on their side, who arm themselves with Genuine Blades (No replicas here).
Alternatively of course the party may decide to side with the GOO patron against the Ticketmaster if they feel like going into the convention business.
Do you need to pay tax on hostile business takeovers?
What did you think? Any ideas, feedback, or do you intend to use this in a session? Let me know!
This session was originally written with D&D in mind, and the original prompt for this session was “Make a con save!”.
Cowritten/Edited with the assistance of Alsanna.
Idea inspired by Tainted Goods by Felix Colgrave.